To be honest talking about the future and the past particularly depresses me at the moment. Even looking back to the last 8 years seem to be a waste of my time and resources. The optimist in me tells me to look for the good in what i have done. The trouble is that ever since i was young i have never really had a firm grasp on what it is i wanted to do with my life. This creates a right pickle when looking for jobs. What i mean by this is when i apply for a job say a wildlife cameraman for the BBC i think this would be the perfect job for and i love it and would dedicate my work life to the job, my next thought is that its a very difficult job to get which it is. So i start to think of other jobs, now instead of thinking about related jobs like filmography of wildlife, like i presume most would do I start to think about jobs like being a systems programmer or working on construction projects or even becoming a cartoonist. You see their is no relation to the way i think about what i would like to do as a career. This does create problems when it comes to applying for work.