Mum's birthday

Well its Mums birthday tomorrow. We found out about 3 weeks ago that she has a very aggressive cancer that is inoperable and they could not do anything for it with chemo therapy because she is too weak. It is so difficult to look at her now because i knew her when she was strong. Now she can hardly move and that fills me with dispare for her. I love her so dearly and don't want to lose her, but i must face this reality. she does not have long left. I put on a brave face when i am around her and try to be strong but the pain is very hard to bear. Some evening i find myself weeping. I don't think they understand her and when i asked her if she was afraid of dying she said, yes. However i don't believe she still feels this way, but it has been a year since i heard her laugh. I had an interview the other day. A company called Orgnot. A business growth business, smelling 50% bullshit i have not excepted anything yet and wait to make a decision. Another interview in Coventry for Metlife. Basically these company's want your contacts and they want me to sell to them. This kind of idea is crap because of course its commission only. Problems worsen in the Euro zone, more people out of work then seen in years its no surprise that people resort to these kind of tactics to drum up some business. People are selfish and self serving and act in their own interests. This is the main lesson that i learnt when i went travelling for the first time. If people were different and acted with others intentions in mind then perhaps the world would be a employed, less poverty, less hate. However as it stands we head into a massive preserpice of doom because those that act this way continue to act this way, until they die. Leaving a tail of doom in their wake. I have made this picture for Mum for her birthday.

To achieve all the things that i have stipulated in previous posts then i will have to create a system organization of time. Due to the wide ranging nature of the things that you wish to achieve it should be achieved by sorting the activity's into a schedule manner of doing them. This is my first realization. Here is how it goes:(this can be changed for one reason or another) Thursday: today is to deal with financial matters. Fri: sporting activity. Sataday: recreation poker etc Sunday: food and creation ie maybe some art etc Monday: discovery ie look into something new Tuesday:making things poetry, music wed: science Received word that mums liver has changed somehow and needs to be looked at again by her doctor. Cleaned up some leaves in the garden. I have also been thinking since last week that it would be a really good idea for me to join the army. This sort of thing i am prone to in a big way.... Making a massive decision like this in my head and carrying around with me like a viable option. I am truly considering it but like the next move i make i would have to go full into it.

Impressionism : Paul Cezanne break away impressionist who in his painting of apples makes the apples look slightly hazy reflecting that what we see with 2 eyes ie in stereo. The other artist is the great Claude Monet. I like the picture of the arch because you can see his talent as depicting depth in the picture. The other picture is one of his most famous picture. I think it is because of the use of the bright orange almost psychedelic look of the sun, which really get the the heart of what impressionism is all about.

To be honest talking about the future and the past particularly depresses me at the moment. Even looking back to the last 8 years seem to be a waste of my time and resources. The optimist in me tells me to look for the good in what i have done. The trouble is that ever since i was young i have never really had a firm grasp on what it is i wanted to do with my life. This creates a right pickle when looking for jobs. What i mean by this is when i apply for a job say a wildlife cameraman for the BBC i think this would be the perfect job for and i love it and would dedicate my work life to the job, my next thought is that its a very difficult job to get which it is. So i start to think of other jobs, now instead of thinking about related jobs like filmography of wildlife, like i presume most would do I start to think about jobs like being a systems programmer or working on construction projects or even becoming a cartoonist. You see their is no relation to the way i think about what i would like to do as a career. This does create problems when it comes to applying for work.

Well its been a year

Its been a while since my last post.
I would say i have been busy which is partly true.
I don't really know where to start. I found work, lost work, traveled to interesting places (Greece and Costa Del Sol, Gibraltar and Portugal).
I also have a new phone which helps with my posting



I was working for a company called Spink. An auction house specializing in Numismatica (banknotes, coins, stamps, medals and bonds and shares). My job there was officially titled accounts assistant. It was a role that involved creating a daily report of the days in comings into the company. People pay for their items by cheque, bank transfer, cash, card etc. It also involved following up on the people who had not paid for their items. Basically any sort of incoming money in the business would pass through me at some point. I also collected and sorted the post daily. I enjoyed the job simply because of the level of responsibility on me.
Even know when writing this i don't like to talk about why i lost the job because it depends on a lot of things. I put it down to not being able to properly talk and track all the people that owe the people money. Also there were severe issues with the books side of the business because it was supplied to me in a different system. There were also a few errors that were made to the accounts of certain clients which i think probably put the final nail in my Spink career. I was a little bitter because i felt that certain people within the organization wanted me to fail, and as a result of this one cannot possibly have the success you are untitled to.
So after this i had a quick stint back in Oisi where i helped start up a cocktail bar and worked in creating a delivery service. Ultimately i did not want this as working in such a small scale never get you anywhere.

I went traveling to Greece with the family and friends. Was a lot of fun, but ultimately holidays with the family are holidays with the family.

I have recentlly got back from Spain Costa del Sol Gibraltar and Greece. I will upload my diary from this in the next post. Needless to say it was fucking amazing. Only one issue. I lost every single fucking picture that i took. Literally felt like crying.

So whats going on a present. I have a job offer from the Maybury, but i am slightly hesitant taking a job for the same rate that i was on 8 years ago and in the same position. It makes me quite depressed.
So i spend my time cooking, watching sci-fi movies and series such as Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Brave new world. Samauri Champloo (not sci-fi) and tonight i'm going to watch Titan AE.

I have also started reading Issac Asimov The Foundation. So far it seems a bit far out and a bit crazy sort of far away on the planet Zog style. However i have heard that this book is like the godfather of Sci-Fi books and packed full of interesting ideas which has helped to shape sci-fi. So I will read on...
Recently had a go at Deus Ex Human Revolution. A good game on Onlive which has some increadable ideas on human prosthetics and being able to control human evolution. It has made me look further into the Science at the time and start thinking about the key issues in the world such as:
Can we live forever?
What is the point of the Human Genome Project?
How does stem cell research work in practice?
I'm sure i will post some more on this in future.

So far this is a really big post but there has been a lot to catch up on. So i will leave the future part for now. But let me just say this i want to open my creative path once more, such as music (creating play lists), drawing (cartoons strips, graffiti) talking about politics and current affairs, Photography, poetry, wood working, further work on online work and many more...So many plans for the future now i must act on my wants have the conviction to follow through with my words. After all it is my will!

See you soon hopefully...

Joined LSBF for ACCA

I've started up on a course with the London School of Business and Finance (LSBF) training for my ACCA qualification. I'm amazed at how quickly we seem to get through the content. Atm i am studying for my exams in Decemeber. I'm taking F5 Performance management F6 Tax and F7 Financial reporting.
I like the way that LSBF teaches and i like the tutors something that could not be said for some of the tutors and teaching style of everyone in Gloucestershire.
Most of what i'm doing i can see a very good use for out there in the real world. Especially with F5.
I have also met quite a few of the people from there. Which i am now proud to call my friends. Fahad being one of them. Such a generous, interesting and somehow enlighted person. I enjoy his company and his friends a lot.